On the Spirituality of Simplicity (Part One)

This exercise of simplifying my life is a Spiritual Path. It is a path towards letting go of attachments. It is also a very clear path towards Happiness and Enlightenment, at least according to the Dalai Lama. All of that, for just simplifying my life! What a bargain.

I haven't been writing as much about simplifying the material things in my life (my motorcycle battery, etc.) because for one, it's been raining outside, but also because I have been busy absorbing information for the past couple of months about how to live simply. At some point, I realized that simplifying my life was mostly about my mental outlook on life. 

Below, I've paraphrased key points I learned in my  research (identified in italics). My own extrapolations are in bold.

In order to be happier, we first need to stop consuming that which we think will make us happier, but ultimately does not. Because once we let go of the things that are not working, we could make room for other things that might make us happier. See http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/

To put the above precept into practice, I needed to:
First, identify the necessary things in my life. From that, extrapolate the optional things. (That which is not necessary is optional.)

See Part Two for the extended story, but for me, the necessary things in my life are: Access to Nature, Shelter, Food, Warmth, Love, Teachers (and therefore Students), Companions, Peace around me, and the knowledge that I am part of something bigger.

Once I identified the necessary things in my life, then I could identify the other things that were optional. It's just a process of elimination. So the first thing I looked at was my relationship with the Oracle. Most romantic relationships start as optional relationships, so it was not hard to identify as an optional item in my life.

Second, ask myself honestly if that optional thing brings me happiness in the way I feel is important.

So I asked myself this: "Is this relationship really making me happy?"

Sadly, the answer was a No. 

There were too many points of conflicts in the relationship.
And I now had a new found knowledge that, if I let go of him, I might make space for other things that might make us both happier.

I also have learned that I have to let go of trying to control my happiness (which is the same thing as letting go of attachments). To "control happiness" is to try to manipulate my surroundings so that it would make me happier, as if the people and things external to me could deliver me the happiness that I was looking for. Instead, I must personally take responsibility for my own happiness, and so I must choose / not choose the things that make me happy without the manipulation / control. All I can do is say "yes" or "no" to a situation, in order to choose whether it is in my life or not. I can't attach conditions such as, "Yes, but..." It just doesn't seem to work out. See CNM: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by Melody Beattie. See also See http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/.

Third, if it's not making me happy, let it go.

So I let go of the Oracle, finally. 

Once I let go of the things that are not working, I could make room for the things that might make me happier. Whether or not it's the same person I find happiness with in the end - that almost doesn't matter.

After I realized how obvious the above lessons were, I started to beat myself up, because I felt I should have known these things earlier in my life - that happiness was just a matter of me shifting my mindset. I wished I had trusted years ago that I would be OK, regardless of whether I tried to control the situation or not (I'm a Lawyer, what can I say? The profession makes me both controlling and un-trusting.). But I also know now that none of my life has been wasted, for I needed to learn my past lessons to be ready for the lessons I'm learning now. See CNM: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, by Melody Beattie.

Fourth, Thank my teacher(s) for teaching me the lesson I just learned.

The Oracle was a great teacher. I thank him and honor him for what he has taught me.

So for me, the four steps to identifying the things I can simplify in my life are:

1) Identify the necessary things in my life. And from there, figure out the optional things in life.

2) Ask myself honestly if that optional thing brings me happiness in the way I feel is important.

3) If it's not making me happy, let it go.

4) Thank my teacher(s) for teaching me the lesson I just learned.

(I'm going to try this test on other things in my life.)